October 19 2017
This house hums loud in the quiet dark of a Thursday morning seven o'clock. I lie in bed awake, remembering my evening prayers; I asked for singleness of mind, gentleness for my children, and the ability to stay present in my daily life. I don't want to check out of reality any more- clicking and tapping away, a blank, black device obscuring my face from my children. Kyrie Eleison. Christe eleison. Lord, have mercy. Christ have mercy.
In the last few years I have one by one checked out of most forms of social media- first Facebook, then Instagram, then slowly but sadly deleting each hoarded Pin Board.
Many of the perceived connections that I thought were so valuable proved empty, the relationships carefully stroked with picture comments and exclamation points proved hollow.
I don't regret it. And yet, always temptation beckons at the door, and idolatry is always ready to meet me more than halfway. EBay and Amazon can be just as alluring, the promise of a package in the mail just as exciting as the old red notifications in my FB inbox. Shopping fills a void. .. for a moment.
I don't regret it. And yet, always temptation beckons at the door, and idolatry is always ready to meet me more than halfway. EBay and Amazon can be just as alluring, the promise of a package in the mail just as exciting as the old red notifications in my FB inbox. Shopping fills a void. .. for a moment.
The moment passes; the void is still there.
Oh, to run to God the way I've run to material things! To run to Christ the way I embraced my sexuality as a means to security! If only I could be as fervent in the Holy Spirit as I've been fervent in finishing projects- always finishing, finishing, rushing towards the final step as if it will complete me.
Kyrie Eleison. Wake me from my complacency O God. Wake me into your holiness, your living, breathing, satisfying righteousness.
Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them; While the sun, or the light, or the moon, or the stars, be not darkened, nor the clouds return after the rain...
...Or ever the silver cord be loosed, or the golden bowl be broken, or the pitcher be broken at the fountain, or the wheel broken at the cistern.
Ecclesiastes 12
