Mist every morning, clouds of thick mist wafting over the lakes, and then the sun coming out, turning everything pink and gold and blue. The lake gets calm and still, like a mirror, reflecting a soft blue autumn sky.
Elysia asks me for the extra bread dough from dinner, and all the kids make miniature bread- Anthony a French-shaped oblong, Eleanor a bobbly mound, Chloe a braided wreath with little dollops of dough in the middle, and Elysia-- a nest. A beautiful bird's nest, and she runs back into the pantry to get a bird-shaped cookie cutter to make a tiny mother bird, for the three small eggs in the center. I see the artistry pouring out of all of them and I immediately feel so guilty- I was annoyed at them, I rushed them, and what if all they ever remember is me, rushing them, rushing myself, while the golden days, the dull days, the dark days, each translucent moment is slipping by unrelentingly?
Chloe and I are memorizing Micah 6.8 and how I wish I could blazon it across my soul; sear my heart with its truth, the utter simplicity, the utter difficulty of it. Humility does not come naturally to me; insecurity perhaps, but pride and insecurity are flip sides of the same coin, and are the exact opposites of humility. Humility means finding your security in something greater than yourself- in Someone greater. Mercy doesn't come naturally either; I want to do things right, and I want everyone else to do things right. In me I find no mercy.
And justice? Justice goes hand in hand with holiness and peace. Justice doesn't gasp with frustration as I flare up in anger while dealing with childish altercations on a Friday afternoon at the end of a long week, feeling like if I could have one moment, only one moment alone, I would be okay. Justice is always just. Justice doesn't make excuses.
And justice? Justice goes hand in hand with holiness and peace. Justice doesn't gasp with frustration as I flare up in anger while dealing with childish altercations on a Friday afternoon at the end of a long week, feeling like if I could have one moment, only one moment alone, I would be okay. Justice is always just. Justice doesn't make excuses.
I know that truly, truly, love is all there is; love is all that matters. A mother has the unique task to show the love of God to her children- to mirror the compassion and comfort, and to echo the discipline. How continually I fail! How hopeless I am when I forget where my hope comes from!
Without Jesus Christ breathing into my
deadness I will never walk a victorious path. With Him, anything is possible, and miracles and mountain tops a beautiful reality.
paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls.
deadness I will never walk a victorious path. With Him, anything is possible, and miracles and mountain tops a beautiful reality.
Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in
the ways, and see, and ask for the oldpaths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls.
- Jeremiah 6
